


Diagnostic Don'ts

by Souless_Robot



Series: Yugioh Au-gust [3]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga), Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Genre: AU-gust 2020, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Dr. Seto Kaiba, Gen, House m.d Au, Humor, implied puppyshipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:54:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25809925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Souless_Robot/pseuds/Souless_Robot
Summary: Dr. Seto Kaiba very much does not want any fellows in his diagnostic department. Unfortunately the hospital administrator Atem has different ideas. That's how Kaiba ends up with three fellows in his office. It's a good thing Kaiba doesn't plan to keep them for very long. He'll bet Wheeler he can get them to quit by the end of the week.
Series: Yugioh Au-gust [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862191
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11
Collections: AUgust 2020





	Diagnostic Don'ts

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! I just couldn't get the idea of Kaiba as House out of my head and it was just perfect for the prompt of hospital Au.
> 
> Also instead of ducklings, I imagine Kaiba calling his fellows his hatchlings while Joey cackles in the background. Let me know what ya'll think!

Kaiba decided the hospital administrator, Atem, had it out for him. It was the only explanation. He’d assigned him to ten clinic hours a week! Ten! It was unbelievable. 

He shouldn’t even be in the clinic with all the snot-nosed brats and their idiotic parents. It was a waste of his time, not to mention expertise. If Kaiba had to talk to one more anti-vaxxer he was going to burn this place to the ground. He wondered how much Atem would regret his choices then. 

Atem had already shoved three incompetent fellows on him. In fact- Kaiba flicked his wrist and looked down at his watch. Yes, they had been waiting approximately two hours for him to onboard them. Kaiba smiled. Good, they needed to learn the pecking order if they were going to work under him. If Atem was going to waste his time with mind-numbing tasks, he would ruin Atem’s plans. After all, Kaiba had agreed to hire them, it wasn’t his fault if they quit and he got the diagnostics department back to himself. 

Kaiba couldn’t keep the grin off his face as he imagined the heart palpitations Atem would have when they all sent in their resignations. It would be better than the cafeteria incident. It might even set a new Atem screaming record. 

Kaiba scratched his initials next to the timesheet and set off back to his office at a slow pace, tapping his fingers idly as he confirmed his lunch plans with Wheeler. 

Three faces turned to greet him as he entered his office, two males and a female. He’d read their CVs and unfortunately, Kaiba couldn’t fault Atem’s choice of fellows, he’d picked the most qualified applicants: Jack Atlas, Alexis Rhodes, and Duke Devlin. 

Dr. Jack Atlas, premiere surgeon from Australia, he’d abruptly left Sydney and decided to strike out on his own, applying at Domino hospital. The man’s ego was practically stifling and It was clear he had some deep-seated jealousy and daddy issues. Kaiba detailed it away for later. It would be fun to see how far he could push the blond. Kaiba in no way liked people, but when he was forced to interact it was always a fun puzzle to work out their weak points, which he did and then poked mercilessly. 

The next face was more familiar, Dr. Duke Devlin. Devlin had been around the hospital since he was a child. It made his sense his deceased father was on the board once upon a time. Atem had been discussing making him a resident ever since he graduated from Domino University’s med school. Now it seemed Atem had found a way to stick him with the responsibility. The dark-haired man was dressed in a monogrammed white lab coat beneath it he wore black scrubs, also monogrammed. He was wearing dark eyeliner. Kaiba’s first impression was the man was vain and Kaiba couldn’t wait to send him out to dig through their patients’ trash for clues. 

And last, but not least, was Alexis Rhodes. She’d graduated top of her class from John Hopkins. From what Kaiba could tell she was serious and astute. Honestly, out of the three fellows, she was likely going to be the easiest to work with. Under different circumstances, Kaiba might have even liked her, as it was though she would be harder to crack. Good, he’d always enjoyed a challenge. 

Atlas spoke first, practically vibrating with rage as he snapped out, “We have been waiting for nearly three hours!” 

Kaiba smirked. This would be easier than he thought. He crossed the room and began to idly toss his ball as he collapsed in his office chair, “Ah, if it isn’t the little Aussie, the bleeding heart, and leather pants.” 

A feeling of glee crossed Kaiba’s heart as he emotions of outrage, disbelief, and amusement crossed the new fellows’ faces respectively. 

“I think I should be honest. I’m told honesty is a virtue. I don’t want you here.” Kaiba tracked as each fellows’ lips tightened, “You were hired under false pretenses by a self-important hospital administrator who’s too big for his breeches. I have better things to do 

Devlin scoffed, “Yeah, a whole department I can see that. That’s why there’s exactly zero other staff besides you here. I heard they’re thinking about turning this into an orthopedic clinic.”

Kaiba’s eyes flashed. They wouldn’t dare give his office space to Tristan fucking Taylor. He would skin Atem first. Kaiba would happily explain to Yugi that his husband died of dumbass disease. He’d even pay to get it transcribed on a tombstone. Kaiba chewed back the thought and instead smirked at Devlin’s attempt at goading him. 

“Precisely I’m all that’s needed. I’ve diagnosed every case that’s come across my desk. There’s a reason people travel from all over the world to Domino General. That means that the three of you are nothing but unneeded dead weight.” 

“Unneeded-” Atlas was on his feet, but Rhodes cut him off, placing a firm hand on the other blond’s shoulder and forcing him back into his seat. 

“That’s fine Dr. Kaiba. I could see why you might have that opinion with your record. We are all untested with diagnostics but very eager for the opportunity to learn under you and given time I’m sure we will grow beyond ‘dead weight’.”

Kaiba blinked as he was suddenly met by two other serious nods. Atlas looked like he was sucking on a lemon but he didn’t say anything to counter Rhodes. 

“Pah, you three are no fun. Fine then hatchlings you can get started by looking through that stack for an interesting case” Kaiba pointed them to the mountain of files that had piled up in the last month, “I’m going to lunch.” With that, he swept out of his office smiling. 

“LUNCH!” Atlas shriek could be heard from down the hall. He’d bet they wouldn’t last the week. 

Kaiba smirked as he pressed the down button on the elevator to head for the cafeteria. Wheeler’s food wasn’t going to steal itself. 


End file.
